Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Agony of Defeet

There are a lot of mysteries out there. Some become the foundation for the plots of blockbuster movies, others seem to fade into old wives tales. Last night I read about a tale that has the potential for either — assuming someone can conjure the right ending with that important mix of a little horror and a lot of twist.

Christopher Solomon wrote the article Foot. Loose. for Outside Magazine detailing his account traveling aboot the coast of British Columbia in order to learn more about the disturbing recent history of people finding human feet, still in their running shoes, washed up on shore.

"Something strange is happening in the coastal waters near Vancouver, B.C. Detached human feet—seven of 'em, neatly wrapped in running shoes—have been found washed up on beaches or floating next to piers. The Mounties aren't talking, but locals have plenty of theories. Let's just hope they're wrong about the flesh-eating lobsters and the rural loner with all the knives."

(Map by Chris Philpot on

“At first the feet are all men's feet, all right feet. Then a woman's foot appears. Then a left foot. Four of the feet match: one pair of women's feet, one pair of men's. That's seven feet, bow-tied in seaweed, that were once attached to a total of five bodies—bodies that don't turn up...”

Despite the gruesome subject matter, his writing is rather humorous. And even though he didn’t beat the Royal Mounties to a sure conclusion, his theories and investigations leave you relatively convinced that you don’t need to hole-up in your house with chain mail around your ankles. Personally, I’m still going to be a little wary on our next beach clean-up.

Kathryn’s quote of the day in reference to the article and our last clean-up: “I’m just glad there wasn’t a head attached to the blonde wig.”


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